Collide
by EvenAngelsFall22
Summary: Even the best fall down sometimes...I somehow find that you and I collide. Jason and Courtney have been over for years, they've both moved on with other people. Or have they?


**_Disclaimer: _**I don't own the characters of GH, or General Hospital itself.

**_Summary: _**Even the best fall down sometime… I somehow find that you and I collide. Jason and Courtney have been over for years now, both have moved on with others… or have they?

**_Author's Note: _**I know I'm terrible. I suck. I haven't kept up on my updating, but I promise, another chapter of _On The Way Down_ will be out either today or tomorrow, I'm just finishing up some last minute editing on it. Until then, you can read this. I heard the song the other day on the radio and sat down and wrote this in about one hour. Love it or hate it, take the time if you have it and let me know what you think!

The song is _Collide _by Howie Day.

_The dawn is breaking  
A light shining through  
You're barely waking  
And I'm tangled up in you  
Yeah  
_

The sound of birds chirping and the sight of the sunlight trying desperately to break through the drawn curtains alerted Courtney to the inevitable fact that the night was over. Morning was here. She couldn't decide if it had come too soon or too late.

Carefully, so not to wake him, she raised herself up slightly, resting against the headboard and watched as he slept. As she moved, the blanket moved with her, revealing the broad expanse of his chest, which rose and fell with each steady breath he took. This was one of the things she missed most, just watching him. It didn't matter what he did, back before everything, she would have spent hours watching him read the newspaper if he would have let her. She closed her eyes for a second, savoring the events of last night, trying to commit every word, every touch, every little thing that happened to memory.

When she opened her eyes, his dark gray ones were now open and on her. She felt the heat as her cheeks flushed and she pulled the bed sheet a little higher up. "Good morning," she said softly.

Jason shook his head. "It's not morning yet," he said, traces of sleep lingering in his voice. "I won't let it be."

"I don't think there's much you can do about it," she asked lightly, sliding back down the headboard and curling up against his chest.

"It's still early, it's not even seven," he said, cupping the side of her face and bringing her close for a kiss. "I don't want to leave," he whispered.

"You have to," she said sadly.

"I still don't want to." He kissed her again, wrapping his arms around her tightly. "Ask me to stay," he murmured into her hair.

If only it were that easy.

_I'm open, you're closed  
Where I follow, you'll go  
I worry I won't see your face  
Light up again _

Jason was still kissing her, but Courtney's mind was elsewhere. Her eyes drifted over to the vanity that stood across the room. The papers were still lying there, where she had left them after receiving them yesterday. Had it really only been yesterday? Yesterday seemed like forever ago to her now.

In reality though, her divorce from Jax wasn't even twenty-four hours old. She hadn't even been single for a day when Jason found her alone in the park, celebrating the end of her marriage with a hot chocolate. It had been awhile since they had talked alone, and it seemed like the perfect time for them to catch up on each others' lives so when Jason had asked her to join him for a cup of coffee, she hadn't hesitated to accept the offer.

Maybe it had been naïve of her, or maybe she had fooled herself into thinking it would be nothing more than a harmless cup of coffee between two friends, but either way, she was still surprised that they had ended up here, at the new Port Charles Hotel, of all places, in bed together once again.

It shouldn't have happened though. Courtney was all too aware of that as she turned her attention back to Jason and kissed him again, with a little more fervor than he had anticipated and he pulled back a little in surprise before resuming the kiss.

If Courtney noticed his hesitation, she didn't care. She knew this would probably be the last chance she would have to be with Jason like this and for the moment, she would let herself get lost in them because she knew this time, there was no chance that she wouldn't be able to find her way out again.

Because try as hard as she could, there was one image, one touch from last night, that was forever engraved in her memory. Every time he ran his hand across her body, every time she laced her fingers through his, she felt it.

The smooth cold metal of his wedding band.

_Even the best fall down sometimes  
Even the wrong words seem to rhyme  
Out of the doubt that fills my mind  
I somehow find  
You and I collide _

They had talked about it last night, his marriage to Sam. They were happy, for the most part. But, as Jason had explained, it was never like it had been for the two of them. Part of him still felt that he had only married her out of convenience and that after four years of marriage he still wasn't sure if he loved her. Now, it seemed, they were still together only out of that same convenience and the fact that Sam didn't want to be alone. It was after he said that, that Courtney opened up about her own marriage to Jax, and how it had fallen apart because they were constantly comparing each other to someone else. And predictably enough, once the marriage had ended, here she was with Jason, and Jax was on his way to Paris to see Brenda.

They had been on their third cup of coffee when Jason asked her the question that shaped the rest of the night's events.

"_Do you still miss us?" he had asked her, his voice so low that Courtney wasn't sure she had even heard him right. She had looked up from her cup and nodded slowly._

"_Do you?"_

"_Yeah." Jason set his own cup down and fidgeted with the spoon that lay on the table. "You think this would have gotten easier over the years," he said finally._

"_What would?"_

"_Seeing you. Being here, this close to you and still wanting you."_

_Courtney's face reddened and she bit her lower lip nervously. "Jase, don't," she said softly. "We've moved on, we're both in completely different worlds now, we can't go back." The look on his face told her that he didn't believe her words anymore than she did._

_Jason stared at her for a moment. "Wait here," he said, pushing his chair back and leaving the table. Courtney stared at the tablecloth as she waited. Every part of her was screaming at her to leave. To just get up and walk away before things could get any more complicated._

But she didn't leave. She had still been there when he came back several minutes later.

"_I have to go," he had said, helping her up from the table. As he helped her put her coat on, he had slipped something into her pocket. "Think about it," he whispered in her ear, as he kissed her cheek lightly. "And if you decide no, then I'm glad we ran into each other tonight."_

And after he left, Courtney slipped her hand into her pocket and was surprised at what she found.

In her palm, she held a silver hotel key with the number 431 engraved on it.

And as usual, when it came to Jason, Courtney thought with her heart and not her head, and it was for that very reason that she was here with him now, awkwardly and silently getting dressed, not sure of where they stood, and even less sure of what she should say to him.

Yes, last night had been incredible; it always was when it came to the two of them. They had found out quickly, that neither had forgotten a single detail about the other, and the familiarity, the closeness, the passion that still radiated between them felt so right, and so good, that neither felt any traces of guilt or wrong-doing.

Until now. He had asked her to ask him to stay and she found she couldn't form the words. So now here they were, facing the consequences they had brought on themselves.

Finally, he turned to her. "Any regrets?" he asked, taking the wool scarf from her hands and wrapping it snugly around her neck.

Courtney looked into his clear gray eyes and shook her head. "No new ones," she said softly. "Take care of yourself, okay?"

"You too," he said. He leaned in to kiss her, but at the last second she turned her head and his lips landed on her cheek.

"Good-bye," she had whispered, before slipping quietly out the door, shutting it behind her.

_I'm quiet you know  
You make a first impression  
I've found I'm scared to know I'm always on your mind _

After that night Courtney tried to do everything in her capacity to avoid Jason but somehow, they always crossed paths. If she took Morgan to the park, he claimed to be out for a walk. If she filled in for one of the girls at the diner, he was seated at the corner table by the window, citing his need for a caffeine fix. He was always polite when he spoke to her, but his eyes always looked where they shouldn't, and his hands always found ways of brushing against her skin. He loved seeing her reactions, so she stopped making eye contact him. She refused to give him the satisfaction of seeing what he still managed to do to her. She tried to keep their conversations to casual small talk and town gossip, but he always managed to bring up something from their past. It was a constant game between them and Courtney wasn't sure she could handle it anymore.

"How's Sam?" she would always ask then, pointedly. She took small satisfactions in seeing his eyes narrow at the mention of his wife's name, but he always recovered and answered the same.

"She's fine," he'd say, leaving it at that. And then he would push his chair back and leave, always making sure to brush against her as he left. She would feel her face flush at his mere touch and that was it. He always won.

It didn't take a genius to figure out how he always seemed to know where she was. And when confronted, Carly didn't deny it. After all these years, Carly still had hope that her two best friends would reunite.

The fight was always the same. "He's married to Sam!" Courtney would scream at her, begging her to stop with the games and to let her move on with her life.

"He'll divorce her if you ask him to," was all Carly would say before making half-hearted promises to stop interfering, but somehow those promises were never kept.

A shining example was the night of Carly and Sonny's 10th wedding anniversary. They had decided to renew their wedding vows and asked both Jason and Courtney to be their witnesses once again. At the reception, Carly insisted that they share the first dance with her and Sonny.

Thrown together, once again by Hurricane Carly, Courtney only hoped that she could make it through the four and half minute song. As always though, it was no such luck for Courtney.

"I can't stop thinking about you Courtney," he had whispered in his ear as they circled the marbled floor. "I don't want to stop."

Courtney felt her resolve begin to crumble. Truth be told, she was finding it harder and harder to not think about him as well.

And as if she wasn't weakening enough as it was, his next sentence drove her over the edge.

"Sam's gone for the night, come home with me."

_Even the best fall down sometimes  
Even the stars refuse to shine  
Out of the back you fall in time  
I somehow find  
You and I collide_

Before she could comprehend what was happening, they were in Jason's penthouse, her back pushed up against the door as they kissed. She couldn't believe how quickly her desire for this man could still overwhelm her, provoke her into doing things she would never dream of doing with anyone else.

Jason broke their kiss, pulling her deeper into the living room. They were halfway to the bedroom when their bodies crashed into each other again, entwining around each other, holding on for dear life.

Courtney's guilt began to get the better of her. This wasn't love between them anymore; only lust. It had to be; she couldn't be in love with a married man, even if he had been married to her first.

One look at Jason however, proved her thoughts false. She pulled away slightly, and ran his hand over his face, sweeping the tips of her fingers over the eyes that were staring at her so intensely, every second, becoming more and more clouded with something Courtney hadn't seen in a long time.

"Do you love me?" she whispered. She didn't want an answer; she couldn't stand the answer, no matter what it was. Instead, pulled him closer again for another kiss. She felt him lift her up and for the second time in less than 5 minutes she felt her back hit the edge of a doorway. Reaching one hand behind her, she grasped the doorframe, barring them from entering.

"Wait," she whispered, pulling away again. She shook her head. "Not here, please." Sure, she could make love to a married man; she just couldn't make love to him in the bed he shared with his wife.

Jason understood immediately and without a word, he carried her upstairs to the spare bedroom.

When it was over, and she was just about to drift off to sleep, Jason woke her with a single word.

"Yes," he said hoarsely, twisting a blond strand through his fingers.

"Yes?" she echoed, placing her hand over his.

"I still love you," he clarified. "Always have, always will."

_Don't stop here  
I've lost my place  
I'm close behind _

He asked her then, if she still loved him and Courtney couldn't bring herself to answer him. Of course she still loved him; she had never stopped. But how could she tell him? She could resign herself to being 'the other woman' but she could never tell him that she loved him, knowing he would utter the same words to Sam, meaning them or not, every single night.

So she remained silent, eyes cast downward to the black satin sheet that covered them. "I don't think I can lose you again," was all she finally said, her eyes still on the sheet. And just like their first tryst together, she curled up against him, laying her head on his chest. Jason didn't push her any further, he knew how she felt, and knew in time, she'd be able to say it.

Even the best fall down sometimes  
Even the wrong words seem to rhyme  
Out of the doubt that fills your mind  
You finally find  
You and I collide

It had been 3 weeks since Carly and Sonny's party and Courtney hadn't seen or heard from Jason since that night. She figured it had been for the best, that the guilt had finally gotten to him and he was trying to make things right with Sam. While she hated the fact that Sam had won, that she had gotten Jason, Courtney wasn't going to fight for him. I t was better this way.

She was curled up on her couch one Friday night, watching a movie with her cat sleeping contently on her lap when the doorbell rang, startling her.

"Sam left me." The words tumbled out of Jason's mouth the second Courtney opened her door, leaving her even more startled.

"What happened?" she asked, letting him in and closing the door behind him.

Jason just shrugged. "I told her I was still in love with you and that I needed to try and make things work with us again, and that I was sorry and would give her anything she wanted. When I came home from work tonight, she was just gone. Left a note saying her lawyer would be contacting me when she was settled. That was it."

"I'm sorry," Courtney said, though she didn't mean the words, it was just what you said when someone said their wife left them.

Jason grinned and pulled her into his arms. "No you're not," he whispered. "And neither am I." He tilted her face upwards and steel gray connected with pale blue. "So what do you say Courtney?"

Courtney traced her fingertips along his jaw line, his dimples twitched as he tried not to smile at her. "Well?" he asked.

"I say…" Courtney slid her free hand down to his, and ran her thumb over his hand. Feeling no metal encircling his finger, she finally smiled. "I love you."

This time as they kissed there was no guilt, no remorse, no regret.

_You finally find  
You and I collide…_ _  
_


End file.
